Knighthood not what it used to be

In the middle ages, men were knighted by the nobility for their acts of courage and bravery. Being of sound moral character helped a great deal, too.
Maybe it's just a sign of the times, but being knighted today just doesn't seem to mean as much anymore as it once did. The people being knighted these days are simply razing the bar too low and are redefining knighthood as a trendy status symbol instead of being a distinguished honor and a position of distinction.
Take, for example, Sen. Edward "Ted" Kennedy, D-MA, who was knighted last week by the British Empire for his work in the Northern Ireland peace process. In all likelihood, all Old Kennedy probably did was get the two sides to sit down in a pub with him and then proceed to drink them into such intoxication that they'd sign anything just to run to the men's room to throw up.
Truth be told, the knighting of Sir Edward Kennedy was for political distinction, and little else. I mean, the man is 77 years old and battling brain cancer. What else can the British do but knight the guy out of sympathy for his unfortunate condition and declining health.
He certainly wasn't knighted for the traditional acts of courage and bravery. His entire life has been one lived in sheltered cowardice.
I certainly wouldn't count the July 1969 incident at the Chappaquiddick River as a sterling example of Ted's courage. The Massachusetts senator was drunk and driving home from a party with a young woman in his passenger seat. He ended up driving off a bridge and into a pond. Although he escaped to safety, the young woman in the car, 28-year-old Mary Jo Kopechne, did not. She drowned, and Sir Edward left the scene of the accident without notifying authorities until the next day...after the victim's body was discovered. For that breach of character and trust, Teddy boy should have been thrown out of the U.S. Senate. Instead, he got what amounts to a slap on the wrist, and the vast fortune of the Kennedy Estate paid the victim's family handsomely in hush money to avoid what would undoubtedly have led to a very lengthy and public criminal and/or civil trial that might have permanently damaged the Camelot reputation built and maintained by the Kennedys.
And let's not forget about Sir Edward's two older brothers who fell victim to an assassin's bullet. After brother Robert's assassination, Ted was the last surviving son of bootlegger Joe. It is a fact that the Kennedy fortune was built upon illegal and criminal activity during the Prohibition years. It is also a fact that old Joe Kennedy dealt frequently with the mob as part of his bootlegging activities. The Kennedys were knee-deep in mob corruption.
So, when Jack and Bobby went to Washington as the nation's highest ranking military commander and the highest ranking law enforcement officer, respectively, the mob naturally became very concerned.
In fact, there is speculation by some conspiracists and even historians that the deaths of JFK and RFK were contracted out by the mob.
I've always found it fascinating that Sir Edward has never had an attempt on his life, despite what happened to his older brothers and in spite of his higher political aspirations. The conclusion I've come to is that Sir Edward was confronted by his brothers' enemies at one point and given a choice: Either die like the other two, or keep his mouth shut tight and live. My hunch is that Ted knew as much about the mob as his older brothers did. He holds between his ears information that would have him killed if he ever breathed a word of it. He knew this, and he chose to save his own neck yet again. Ted's reward, in turn, has been a long, fruitful 47-year career in the U.S. Senate that has also included a few runs for the Democratic Presidential nomination. His re-election every term since his first in 1962 has been virtually guaranteed by the political--and perhaps even criminal--powers that be. Another shining example of Sir Edward's bravery and courage.
Finally, the piece de resistance of courage has to be Sir Edward's reputation as a real party guy.
I'm talking, of course, about his rather well-known and even better documented propensity for womanizing and hard drinking. Besides the scarlet letter of Chappaquiddick, Kennedy's drunken escapades have included numerous parties, where he'd enjoyed the company of loose women. Much of this occurring as a married man. Truly courageous, I must say.
Sir Edward is a long-time alcohol abuser, who passed this trait onto his son, Patrick, who, as a U.S. Congressman from Rhode Island, has had a history of alcohol and drug abuse. Now, that takes courage to drown yourself in a bottle for the sheer hell of it, then sit back and watch your own child follow in your footsteps.
Yes, sir, they are certainly scraping the bottom of the barrel for knights these days.