Joe Biden needs surgery

To repair a jaw malfunction.

It seems like almost every time he works his jaw, his mouth opens and something wrong comes out.

Doctors have yet to diagnose him, but near as I can tell from my limited experience in lay medicine, U.S. Vice President Joseph Biden suffers from Open Mouth Syndrome(OMS), a much more severe form of Foot-in-the-Mouth Disease because guffaws and gaffes occur much more frequently; nearly constant, in fact.

In the case of "Delaware Joe" Biden, OMS is a daily cause of embarrassment for himself and those around him, because he is unable to open his mouth without something bad coming out.

Given his latest guffaw made at a senate candidate fundraiser to replace John Kerry, I'm thinking it's time for Joe to be fitted with a muzzle.

At the event held Tuesday, June 11, 2013 Biden made comments to follow his introduction by Al Gore meant to be complimentary of the former U.S. Senator and Vice President-turned-environmental propagandist.

Biden said, "This man (Al Gore) was elected president of the United States of America...But for the good of the nation, when the bad decision, in my view, was made, he did the right thing for the nation." He went on, "I’ve served longer than all but 13 members of the United States Senate. I can’t think of very many who would put his country first like that at a really, really, really difficult time. There’s an awful lot of folks Al and I both know who have run for president and still haven’t gotten over it. ...Al, you set an example for this country that is going to live as long as recorded history, about the man who won by a decision that I think constitutional scholars now and in the future will conclude was an ill-fated decision,” Biden said. “The way you stepped up, it was amazing.”

*Sigh* How to start with all of this...

Well, first of all, Joe, Al Gore wasn't elected President of the United States (POTUS). The Constitution requires that, to be elected POTUS, a candidate must win a majority of electoral college votes. Gore, while collecting more popular votes in the 2000 Presidential election, failed to earn a majority of electoral college votes necessary to become President-elect. Rather, his opponent, George W. Bush, did. And the rest is history.

But perhaps there's the rub. Despite his comments, Joe apparently still ruminates over Gore's loss and still bitterly broods over its perceived subjective injustice. It was an injustice to Gore, his supporters and the Democratic Party because the Florida election results did not go their way.

Still, what the Veep said is categorically incorrect. Gore was not elected POTUS because he did not receive sufficient electoral votes to win the Presidency.

Now, concerning what Biden said about Gore being a gracious loser...

Unless my memory fails me, it was Al Gore and his campaign that drew the Florida recount out much farther than it should have gone. Votes were recounted twice, and twice George W. Bush came out the winner. On the third recount request by the Gore Campaign, then-Secretary of State Katharine Harris halted the recount, citing state law that supported sufficient recount had been performed to certify the election and that the results should stand.

And, as I further recall, the Gore Campaign didn't like Harris' determination, so an appeal was made to the Florida State Supreme Court, which, in turn, sided with Gore and overruled the SoS decision, requiring that a third recount proceed.

But the state supreme court's ruling was then appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, which collectively found that the SoS's original determination was correct and should stand. The state supreme court's ruling was overruled by the highest court in the land. End of story. George W. Bush was certified as the winner of Florida's 25 electoral votes and became U.S. President-elect instead of Gore.

I see no evidence that Gore was a gracious loser. He couldn't demand enough recounts to satisfy his ego. And when his efforts to continue the recount were halted, he wouldn't accept the rule of law. He couldn't appeal the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling, so why even go there? That the Gore Campaign conceded after that is a foregone conclusion. By law, he sort of, kind of had to.

So, not only was Biden wrong about Gore being the rightful POTUS--which, by law, he wasn't--but he was also wrong about Gore being the gracious loser he painted him to be.

And make no mistake: The losers never did forget about Florida 2000. They made it pretty clear in the months following as GWB was sworn into office that they did not recognize him as POTUS. He was, in their words, illegitimate and he wouldn't ever be their President.

I would not be at all surprised if both Gore and Biden could be counted among those who held such a grudge that they couldn't even look upon GWB as he took the oath of office.

Gracious losers? Uh, huh.

Try instead "sore," a word that fittingly rhymes with Gore. And speaking of "getting over it," Joe, if you were really "over" the 2000 election, then why bring it up again and lament it as a mistake, a travesty? Obviously, it still bothers you enough that you've got to raise that haunting specter of yours yet again.

Frankly, I don't think Biden has ever really gotten over his failed presidential bids; of which there are multiple. The only reason he is able to remain composed when talking about presidential candidate failures is because current POTUS Barack Obama appeased him and the elders of the Democratic Party by naming him as his running mate.

The scalding comments that Biden is documented to have made against Obama during the 2008 primaries stand in stark contrast to the praise that "Delaware Joe" gives his running mate nowadays.

Naming Biden to the 2008 ticket was a purely political move on the part of the Obama Campaign.

Doing so prevented Biden from making a further fool of the party as a yet-again failed presidential candidate. It also pacified him in his zeal for executive power. And it satisfied all of the old-guard Democrats who wanted to see a "veteran" get his due.

Plus, who better to show "Mister Change" how to play the old game by old rules than ol' "Delaware Joe" himself?

Surgery, a muzzle, something needs to be done to help Joe overcome the handicap that his impairment causes. Otherwise, we will all continue to suffer. I wonder if this would qualify as a "pre-existing condition" under Obamacare?